Enjoy the process

Last night I found myself in the mix of a conversation between my wife Alison and my son, Charlie, reflecting on a social gathering we had put on the previous weekend.

This was a catch-up party. During the lockdown Alison had turned the big 50 but parties were banned unless you lived in a big house in London with a black door and a number 10 screwed to it!

So as the summer months approached we decided to have a belated gathering for all the things that had happened in lockdown that we could not celebrate! The great and the good were invited but they were busy so we had friends over instead! (I jest, we love you all)

I served drinks and food, Charlie (@diseekmusic) was on the decks spinning the tunes, Alex was losing badly at beer pin pong and Alison, well she was doing what Alison does best…. dancing!

Everybody was having a great time, catching up, dancing and getting merry.

A few days later Alison and Charlie were reflecting on the evening.

A recurring question had been asked of Charlie by a few people that night:

“What are you going to do with your life?”

Charlies response was:

“I don’t know”

Let me tell you a little bit about Charlie. From an early age Charlie has always been passionate about music. On his 12th birthday we brought him a set of decks so he could have a go at DJ’ing! (is that grammatically correct? It doesn’t sound right but you get my drift) He loved it and it became a passion for him. So much so that he then started to investigate how he could make his own music. His genre of choice is Electronic Dance Music (EDM). Think David Guetta, Martin Garrix etc!

And so began his passion for creating music. It was not a fleeting passion, but one that has stuck with him to the point where he is now releasing his own music on various streaming services (Spotify) Give him a listen and drop your comments on the blog.

Throughout his remaining school years, he would spend more and more time educating himself via the internet on how to hone his craft.

After his A Levels Charlie decided that he wanted to investigate the music industry. He wanted to be that DJ playing in front of thousands of people at festivals. He wanted to be recognised for his music and make a life out of it.

Charlie applied to study Music Production at the Academy of Contemporary Music in London. He went for the interview, showcased his produced music to date and was welcomed with open arms.

The course started but he wasn’t happy. Because Charlie has been self-educating for the last 7 years he found he already knew what was being taught. The contacts he was making were good but the thought of walking out of University in 3 years’ time with a big student debt hanging round his neck and learning what he already knew was troubling him and so he left the course and struck out on his own.

I am fine with this. If you stick your ladder up against a wall but don't find what you’re looking for when you climb it, well climb down and stick your ladder up against a new wall and look again. There is no limit to how many walls you can put your ladder up against! There is no time scale dictating when you are allowed to move your ladder either!

Society on the other hand does have a problem with this. Society seems to dictate that we must have our lives mapped out! We must know at all times what we want to do, where we want to go and how we are going to get there! The institute of education bangs the drum the loudest on this one! Society exists on achieving goals, it forgets about the process. If you don’t enjoy the process, the goals, when you achieve them appear meaningless and hollow.

Charlie is 20 years old. The average life expectancy in the UK is currently 80 years (82 for women and 78 for men….”Women: the superior species” we will touch upon at a later date!) At the age of 20, statistically Charlie has lived 25% of his life. How on earth would he have the next 75% of his life mapped out? How on earth would he know what is going to happen in the remaining 75%! Some people know what they want to do, some people don’t. Some people think they know what they want to do and change their minds. Some people think they know what they want to do and never change their minds. But we all have something in common. We are all unique, we are all different and we all have a process we are going to live. Our main concern should not be what are we going to do with our lives but what process are we going to live.

Life is for living. Life is for trying out different things. To live YOUR life is the biggest responsibility you have. The odds of you being here are 400 trillion to one! It is a gift that you have been given the opportunity of life, don’t waste it doing something that makes you unhappy just to please society. You are only in the world for 80 years, a very insignificant number of years given that the planet has been around for roughly 4.5 billion years so you might as well enjoy your turn!

We can’t see in to the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the next five minutes let alone the next 60 years BUT we are constantly finding out. Enjoy the journey, enjoy the unknown, enjoy the exploration of your life…. enjoy the process!

So, what ARE you going to do with your life Charlie?

“I don’t know but I am constantly finding out. I shall enjoy the process”